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Tips for Changing Negative Self-talk


By Elly Litvak

I used to be plagued by the effects of negative self-talk. I came by it naturally and I hated myself. My mother's verbal put-downs became a way of thinking. Her shrill voice became my own self-destructive, ongoing inner dialogue. "You big fat, stupid, ugly, good for nothing. You'll amount to nothing!

You might relate to having negative thoughts that constantly make running commentaries on every aspect of your life at up to 300 words per minute. Incredibly MOST people do. Negative self talk heavily impacts our behaviour. It takes its toll on our self-esteem, confidence and overall self-worth. The good news is that I learned how to flip the negative self-talk into positive facts. All it takes is a practice practice practice and patience.

Once I realized that I was programmed to think negatively, I decided to reprogram my self-talk. Here are some simple, effective strategies for changing your negative self-talk into positive thinking:

1. Become aware of your negative comments. Example: "Everyone thinks I'm stupid."
2. Write them down
3. Write down the opposite comment e.g. "I'm brilliant"
4. Say it out loud. Repeatedly.
5. Create positive affirmations. Write them on post-it notes, repeat them over and over and then stick them on your mirrors, walls and refrigerator.
Example: "I deserve all the joy and happiness in my life."
6. Praise yourself for everything you accomplish. Nothing is too small.
Example: "I am proud that I got out for a walk today."

The effects of reprogramming negative self-talk are powerful. You will be amazed at how much your self-confidence, self-esteem and self-image are improved. Overall you will be happier and healthier. Good luck!

P.S. Your comments are important. If you have more ideas and strategies for changing negative self-talk please comment here.


Comments

We can often be our own worst enemy. Thanks for the tips in reprogramming the way we view ourselves.Its time to bring out the pom poms and be our own Cheerleaders, and cheer for the hometeam.
Posted by: pacificsands | Thursday November 12, 2009, 10:51 am

This article resonated with me so deeply I had to create an account to comment!

For me this inner dialogue originates with fear. Fear prompts me to find solutions and strategies for every possible horrible thing that can happen in advance. It's taken me over 40 years to realize that this is pointless, 99% of what I worry about never materializes as I think it will, and I'm better off dealing with things as they come and learning coping mechanisms such as not making snap decisions or responding right away.

One person summed this up for me rather nicely - they referred to it as 'stinkin thinkin'. That rabbit hole we dive down into when we start thinking this way. It helps to find a way to stop - to signal internally that here I'm doing it again and need to stop. Calling out in my mind that 'hey this is stinkin thinkin' helps me stop and usually makes me smile.
Posted by: Northern Light | Monday April 4, 2011, 6:20 pm



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