Bummed Out!

By Nancy Chamberlayne

My bowels signalled that a toilet was needed immediately. Too late -- feces dotted the bathroom floor! Horrors, I had just lost control of my bowels! This is a common but very sensitive, hidden and little-discussed symptom of multiple sclerosis.

Panic overwhelmed me, for I had a presentation to give in 20 minutes. My mind exploded with shame, my heart raced with fear, and tears were close to the surface. A powerful surge of anger came to the rescue, providing the energy and determination I desperately needed to clean up the mess and still give my presentation.

Appropriately, the topic of my talk was, "The Application of Creativity and Humour in Living with Multiple Sclerosis." As I proceeded to speak, I knew I had to apply every idea I was expressing in order to cope.

After my speech, shock set in. How could I ever go out in public again? Was fear going to control my life? I know that I do not have total control of my body, but I also know that I do have command of my mind and my dignity. Losing control of my bowels pushed my sense of
dignity to the extreme limit. As a result of this experience, I’ve come to realize that even bowel incontinence cannot touch my dignity unless I choose to permit it to do so.

From that awareness came the decision to develop a strategy so that I could control my bowels, not the MS. I enjoy life too much to remain at home in fear. After consulting with my doctors and through extensive reading, I chose an action plan.

Every morning, I start the day with dried prunes and a quarter cup of prune juice. For breakfast, I eat homemade granola with a tablespoon of raw flax. I was ahead of the game, as I was already drinking at least six to eight glasses of water a day, consuming plenty of fruits and vegetables and eating a low-saturated-fat, high-fibre diet with no red meat. Swimming, yoga and lifting light weights are part of my weekly routine.

After breakfast, I turn the bathroom into my office for a half hour to an hour every morning. I use a glycerin suppository. I simply do not leave the house without my daily perch on the "throne." It is incredible how much reading, writing and phoning I can accomplish during my
morning "sit." (I have learned never to flush while talking on the telephone!) This procedure provides me with security for the rest of the day.

Freedom is mine! I socialize, exercise, recreate, travel, engage in professional development and volunteer my time. I participate in life. I laugh and joke about my morning office hours. I am now in control of my bowels. I am no longer "bummed out"!

(Nancy Chamberlayne, M. Ed., is a freelance writer living in Parksville, B.C.)