Dare to Dream

By Lorraine Bartlett

For most young adults and their families, graduation from high school is a time for rejoicing, dreaming, and looking forward to new adventures as they embark on a new phase of their lives. The whole world is opened up for them.

For my daughter, Tracy, and our family, it was a time of mixed emotions. For me, it presented a challenge which I was fearful of being unable to meet. At the time of Tracy’s graduation, there seemed to be only two options open for her: a sheltered workshop, with a waiting list of three to five years; or remaining at home, with the occasional walk or ride in the car.

As part of her school program, Tracy had been unsuccessfully introduced to the sheltered workshop setting. Tracy made it very clear that she was unhappy in that setting and I felt it necessary to respect her wishes. Staying at home, twiddling her thumbs, was never an option for
Tracy. We decided that other options had to be created for Tracy.

What would Tracy like to do with her life? What could she realistically do? She would like to take her rightful place in society as a contributing, productive member of her community.

This was a challenge that one single individual couldn’t resolve alone. Where could I start? I turned to my support network, especially my friend, Marjorie MacLean. After many conversations, she helped us come to the conclusion that a team of knowledgeable, caring people
had to be put around Tracy. This team had to work closely with prospective employers and community groups to ensure new opportunities were created for Tracy.

The Planning Team idea was decided upon. It seemed very simple to me, but it turned out to be one of the most difficult issues I faced. Many roadblocks and barriers were thrown in my way. I couldn’t understand why. Assembling this team was one of the major and most stressful
stumbling blocks that we encountered.

For this team to succeed for Tracy, it was of paramount importance that there be an atmosphere of trust, acceptance, cooperation, dedication and commitment for the long term. It was for this reason that Tracy and I had to have input into who the team members would be, to be able to
suggest members and refuse others. It would be impossible to have a successful team if we couldn’t work cohesively. After much effort, the Planning Team was finally launched.

The team put much time and energy into finding solutions and creating options for Tracy. The most pressing issue at that time was her living arrangements. Tracy had been removed, in crisis, from an institution, and moved into 30-day respite care, in a community setting. This issue was settled successfully after five months of discussions and planning. She is now in her own small option home.

We then moved on to the issue of Tracy’s transition from school to work. The Transition Team was formed. Some members from the Planning Team remained, while new members, with different backgrounds, were added to the team. We met monthly and identified and clarified
Tracy’s needs. We then brainstormed a multitude of suggestions that could be developed into an action plan. The team, as before, was task-oriented, and because it was a team, each and every member ensured the completion and follow-through of the solutions generated. We were able to clarify and summarize the information developed or discovered by the team. All solutions chosen were relevant and tailored to meet Tracy’s needs.

Once we had a working action plan for Tracy, we moved into the next phase: A Monitoring Team was formed. Again, the team members changed. Some left the team, while new members were added, depending on their areas of expertise and Tracy’s needs. This team will deal with any problems that arise in either her living or working situations, and will create the solutions. In future, I see members and tasks changing in accordance with the changes in Tracy herself as she continues to grow and develop.

The following are some of the barriers and problems we experienced: - ensuring that Tracy and I could exercise our right to choose the team members;
- the time factor (i.e. our needs were immediate);
- lack of direct funding for Tracy;
- negative attitudes; and
- limited amount of resources or options.

For me, this change from institutional to community setting provoked much anxiety and concern. These feelings were compounded by the negative attitudes we encountered throughout the process, especially from the people who have the power to make decisions concerning the future of my daughter. Looking back, though, it was worth every tear shed, because Tracy is now very much part of her community, and that has always been my hope for her.

The following are some of the positive things we experienced:
- pooling and coordinating resources;
- teamwork;
- professional development (I feel we have all grown through this experience);
- people working together to help people;
- increased confidence;
- empowerment for Tracy and our family to help ourselves and each other;
- a feeling of accomplishment;
- lifelong friendships;
- a productive and happy life for Tracy as a contributing member of her community (she makes
and sells crafts); and
- Tracy as a role model and inspiration for others (both parents and community groups have
contacted me for information on the process we are using).

The success of the team approach was, in large part, due to the fact that we used Tracy’s strengths as a foundation for change. The members of the team brought different backgrounds and areas of expertise to the process. Some of the resources that were not available to me as a parent were available to others. And it was a wonderful experience to see how ideas generated ideas.

It was only because of the kindness of my support network that I was able to get through this most difficult time. The stamina and perseverance which I was forced to develop during this time was boosted by the support and dedication of the Family Support Network of Nova Scotia and the team members. They dared me to dream for my daughter, and stood with me in fulfilling those dreams. We have benefited, and will continue to benefit, from the experience. I am grateful for the positive people now in our lives. It has made all the difference in the world.

(Lorraine Bartlett and her family live in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia.)