Nurturing Sovereignty, Nurturing Belonging

By Brian Smith

Recently my wife introduced me to a book written by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn, called Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting. I have only read the first few chapters, but thus far find it particularly insight-filled. Here is one paragraph from the chapter on the importance of nurturing sovereignty in our children:

"For one, the honoring of a child's sovereignty means acknowledging to ourselves the reality of those very stages and temperaments. It might mean that the messages an infant gives us are responded to because we are the baby's major interface with the world. If the baby cries, we pick her up, we hold her, we move in with our presence, our listening. We attempt to provide comfort and a sense of well-being. By doing so, we honor her power to have the world respond to her, we accord her that respect and teach her that the world does respond, and that there is a place for her, that she belongs. And we do this as an intentional practice, whether we feel like it at any given moment or not."